WTF.

Now that the Fuzz is finished watching her new favorite reality program, The PMS Shitshow, and more importantly, is out of Oreos, she'd like to take a minute to reflect on some recent puzzling celebrity behavior. It's time for a WTF? moment!


1. Celebrity Haircuts.
In the last week, two of my favorite female celebrities have done something to themselves that may be described as no less than "wackass", and by that I mean given themselves haircuts channeling unfortunate (or dreamboat?) stars of yesteryear.


Rihanna's undershave is kind of like that image of Christ on the taco: it becomes what you want to see. For some, it's Woody Woodpecker. For others, it's Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. For me, it's a mix between Elvira and Mr. T. And all the gold chains aren't helping with the latter.

My girl K-Stew has fared no better.



I don't really know what happened here, but it looks like it might have involved a lawnmower. I would ask but I don't want to bring on the PTSD. On the bright side, with enough hairspray I think she could pass for a member of Cinderella. Okay, NOT the one resembling a sheepdog, and not the two that look like Janet Jackson. The Tina Turner-esque one. Yeahhhh.


And in no-one-cares news, Solange "Chris Gaines" Knowles pulled a Sinead and shaved her head. Because you know what, she doesn't have to live in Beyonce's shadow anymore! And you're not going to make her feel bad about herself for being who she is! Which is beautiful, inside and out! Oh God, she's crying again.


2. Marilyn Manson (the WTF? here is gratuitous)


Responding to an interview with L.A. Weekly in which Travis Keller paints him as a paranoid coke-fiend, Marilyn Manson has released the following statement:

“If one more ‘journalist’ makes a cavalier statement about me and my band, I will personally or with my fans’ help, greet them at their home and discover just how much they believe in their freedom of speech. I dare you all to write one more thing that you won’t say to my face. Because I will make you say it. In that manner. That is a threat.”

Well what do you think about this, Marilyn Manson?: Jon Gosselin thinks your lipstick is WACK! Worse than Shauna Sands! He's telling me to write this! Take your posse of pyromaniac middle-schoolers over to his apartment IMMEDIATELY! And Michael Lohan just whispered a yo mama joke, so you might want to go after him too.

3. True Luv.
The most shocking event of 2009 wasn't Michael Jackson's death, or inaugurating a black president, or shoot, even the death of Gidget the Taco Bell Dog (R.I.P., by the way. You know he and Loki Rourke are BFF in doggy heaven). Because earlier this week, the Peter Pan Guy got married. Wait. It gets better: to a female. An ADULT female, and she didn't even have to sew on his shadow. She did wear fairy wings, though.

For anybody who hasn't heard of Peter Pan, maybe you need to get to know the Internet a little better. Sometime, when you're both free, try cooking a romantic meal together; maybe rub each others' feet. Then visit the Pixyland website.


The ceremony was held at the Renaissance Festival, with King Henry VIII officiating (because he has a really great track record with wives). They even pinky promised! And you know what happens if you break a pinky promise, especially if Henry VIII is in charge. Let's just hope that they both got their cootie shots this year. Nothing like a case of cooties to ruin a honeymoon.

This moment in WTF? was brought to you by Lady Gaga's Kermit poncho.